Rhythm
by belikebumblebee
Summary: My version of THAT night. And more.
1. Chapter 1

Castle inhales up to marking as his heartbeat counts to eight. Exhales again; eight, nine, ten... His breathing is so constant and deep, it feels like the ocean rolling back and forth in his ribcage, equally wide and free and peaceful.

Kate lies next to him; is sprawled up against him, her legs entangled with his, she watches her hand rise and fall on his chest.

_Kate, _he says, exhales her name every now and then.

_What?_ He drinks her voice in as much as he can. It's so low. Soft. Naked in the night, somehow. And naked they are.

His hand rests against the small of her back, her hair falls over her shoulders, and neck, and his forearm.

_Kate, _he says again. She doesn't reply, but raises her head and looks at him.

_I can't_ believe this is the truth. Fall asleep and risk that you might not be here tomorrow. Stop touching you. Finish this sentence. Her body is so warm.

_What? _There is a thick streak of hair falling from her right ear as she tilts her head. Her ear. He touches it. Because it's her perfect little vulnerable ear and he's allowed to touch it (as well as bite it and oh god).

Her chin is on his chest and it's simply unbelievable how her lips are millimeters from his skin.

They drink their moment of quietness together like red wine. She smells like shampoo, rain and sex, Castle's fingers curl around hers. They had crashed into each other, collided like stars and thundered like the storm; and now it's so, so quiet and untroubled. Castle can't believe how close they are, how much this moment belongs to only them.

_Castle?_

How can he need anything else when she talks in that voice? Just _Castle, _how she says that now. Tenderly. He doesn't look at her, there is so much to say and nothing comes out.

But she kisses his face, the corner of his mouth, his eyes as he closes them in pleasure, the side of his nose, his hairline.

_I'm curious for you._

_Haven't you known me for years?_

_Irony upon irony, I have and yet haven't. _

_What do you mean?_

She shifts in her position and he automatically moves with her, shivering inwardly with pleasure at how comfortable it is between them. Now.

_I know you from where I stood, and I know you very well. But I'm standing... kind of closer now._

_I'm _overwhelmed and wordless, he chokes on all the things that want to get out. She doesn't inquire any further. She's right, he thinks, he knows her and yet doesn't, he knows all the things about her, reads her, and yet; four years and never has she bored him. Probably never will.

So they are silent again, just breathing in and out, the same air. He tastes her in his mouth. Tongue and teeth. No words needed.

She rolls on her back, - Kate, he thinks, Kate -, props herself up on her elbows and lets out a relieved groan. Castle looks at her face. She looks back.

_I can _touch _you now._

You always could, her wants to say, but he doesn't. He's speechless. For once.


	2. Chapter 2

»It's not a walk of shame, Castle.«

He falls into a slow jog to catch up with her as she gets on the elevator. »Oh, it totally is, dearest.«

She shoots him a look. _Dearest?_ Are they trying out pet names now? Or is this just Castle being Castle?

»It's not a walk of shame because I'm not ashamed.«

»Oh no? Remind me again why I heard you complain about not wanting to go all morning, then?«

With an amused smile, he leans back against the wall of the elevator, looking all smug and entirely too relaxed. He's not supposed to be relaxed. He won't be going to the precinct anymore either, if this doesn't work.

»I don't want to do it, but I'm not ashamed to do it. There's a difference.«

»I'm sure there is.« He pauses. »It's still a walk of shame. _Ow_!«

She has hit him, but he just fights her off, catches her wrists and laughs. God, he looks happy. Like he has all he's ever, ever wanted. That perfect smile in that horribly beautiful face of his. It makes her want to lose it and start punching/kissing/squeezing/pinching him. It's really weird, especially the pinching part.

But of course, she doesn't say that. She doesn't say anything and just gets off the elevator, her boyfriend (she forces herself to think the word - it sounds like nothing Castle ever is, and he's a lot of things) on her heels.

»Let's get coffee first.«

»You just had coffee...«

While bickering with him over small things, Beckett tries to feel out their new way of dealing with each other. Are they behaving that differently? Are they getting all.. couple-y? She grimaces inwardly.

The bickering might be a couple thing, but they did that before - no doubt there, thanks to Lanie.

They don't really kiss in public, but it doesn't feel awkward, it just feels like it belongs to only them. It makes holding hands more meaningful. Less teeny.

He still calls only calls he ,Kate' when they're alone. And talking about something serious. (He also calls her Katherine in delicate moments. It sounds angry, and maybe he is, but it's actually kind of sweet. And... disturbingly hot.)

What else is new? They slowly find out more about each other. Like the fact that he doesn't want to let her use his bathroom if it isn't neatly cleaned. She does it anyways.

»Hey, Beckett, can we stop by th-«

There is a sound that makes her die inside.

A sound she knows too well, she has heard it before. Has dreamt about it. Over and over again.

It makes everything slow down and rush forward at the same time.

His face is so serious, so hard and relentlessly expressionless as he stumbles backwards, his hands reaching out, struggling, Kate's soul turns into ashes.

And then he's on the ground, his lips twitching like he just doesn't understand,

»_Castle_«

She's all over him. There is no coherent thought in her head, there is just _no no no no_ and _Castle no_ and _I haven't told you enough yet_ and _no Castle no, _she may be screeching at him.

Her hands try to keep it in him, but there is blood everywhere, she wants to kiss him, but there is blood coming out of his mouth as his lips try to form words, _no Rick, no_, he slips away and there is blood coming out of his eyes and ears, so much that she's afraid he will just bleed out right there on the pavement, it stains her white gloves.

A distinct voice yells _911, call 911_ and it's all so far away, like being very drunk, like wading through water, it's so hard and so slow. Gone is his smile, and his skin cracks up when she reaches up to touch his face, there is more blood - everything, everything good is taken away and replaced by sheer, mere horror, as her Castle lies shot beneath her and his eyes don't close, they just look at her and lose all meaning.

»_Just don't do this_«, his mouth says reproachfully. »_If you care about me at all_.«

* * *

Kate doesn't sit up as she awakens, she's not sweaty as they are in the movies. She just opens her eyes and feels her heart race against her chest, she feels so sick and cold when she turns around.

He lies next to her, breathing slowly. _I can't believe this_, she thinks, _I can't believe my life is so melodramatic_. It's ridiculous. Her heart contracts in her ribcage and for the spur of a moment, she wants to have sex with him, just to feel how _freaking alive _he is. And she is.

»Castle.« Bending down, she touches his arm and kisses his temple.

»Kate come back to sleep.« His arm swings out to her uncoordinated in a sleepy attempt to pull her towards his chest. His absolutely unharmed chest. But she draws aside and catches his wrist.

»Castle, wake up, please. I need to talk to you.«


End file.
